Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Obscenely Disgustingly Irresistibly Attractive

Anybody who reads the numblog should not get a wrong idea of who I am, after reading the last two posts.
With this in mind, I am going ahead and posting this one which gives a glimpse of the true me :D
Dont mistake me, I am but 8 years old.
This one here might sum it all up:

I was able to find just the right calvin comic by using this website. Its awesome, it lets you search the text in the comics and locate the precise comic image file, for example ch851119.

The story of the incredible Mookkusali Samiyar (Snot Swami)

This one first appeared in the Outlook, that is a subscription link, so you can directly access it here .

I am going to save you the trouble of clicking on that link by quoting part of it here:

The long-locked man is just about five feet tall and an undernourished
40 kg. Clad in a yellow veshti, he lives in the Adi Dravidar (Dalit)
Colony, where the roofs of most of the 27 government-built one-room
houses have collapsed.

Seated on a gunnysack, Arumugam pedals his sewing machine, stitching a
green blouse. It’s early on a Friday, and before the clients turn up, he
asks us to fetch him two 180 ml bottles of Cosmopolitan whiskey, two
plastic glasses, two water sachets, a packet of savoury
‘mixture’, some pickle and five idlis. Of course, the ‘prasadam’ will be
of even greater value if you add ganja, pan parag and Ganesh beedi to
the list. The man at the state-owned liquor shop 2 km away knows at
once: Is all of this for the Snot Swami? he asks.

After a turmeric-scrub bath in a lotus-strewn pond, Arumugam drapes
himself in a sari, sits below a tree near the Karuppusamy temple, and
elevates himself to a higher plane of consciousness by gulping 360 ml of
rotgut whiskey in 40 minutes. "Other swamis hide what they drink, I
don’t," he says.

Arumugam makes pronouncements on visa cases, court cases and health
problems. However, his speciality is blessing childless couples. He
tells Outlook: "I have blessed 5,700 couples with children." It’s a
claim nobody can confirm. Or contest. He says he has been rendering this
service for more than 15 years, though it is only in the last two years
that his fame has spread. "A man on whose kidneys the Coimbatore doctors
had given up came to me. I cured him," he says.

On an eventful Friday, more than 100 people—of all castes and
communities—seek out the cross-dressing swami. After a few swigs of
whiskey, idlis, pickle and tobacco powder, Arumugam is able to generate
a great deal of phlegm—and he lets it fly. Snot and spit fly out of his
sharp nose and mouth and hit the faces of those seeking his counsel. To
wipe it off would be blasphemous. For Snot Swami’s disciples, this is
the best way to be blessed. The irony is: If Arumugam was just another
Dalit agricultural labourer, people would have refused water from him.
Now, they welcome his snot on their faces.

I thought of some nice things to say after reading this;
"By the slimy grace of the holy snot"
"May the holy snot rain down upon you"
"May His Holiness, Shri, Shri, KHRAAK, Mookkusali Samiyar shower his ample blessings on you"

Kopi Luwak (Civet Cat Coffee aka Cat Shit Coffee)

Now for those of you doubting thomases who think I am making this up, here is a google search link for you. Read, see and understand the wonderful world of haute whatever.

Here are the gory details:

Only about 50 kilos of this blend is collected per year, making it the ultimate in exclusivity and rarity. And when we tell you where the beans have, er, been, you'll understand why. You see the primary reason for Civet Coffee's distinctive taste is that it's been partially fermented by passing through the digestive system of a Sumatran Civet Cat. No, really!

Basically this feral feline prowls Sumatran coffee plantations at night, choosing to eat only the finest, ripest cherries. The stones (which eventually form coffee beans) are then collected by sifting through the Civet's number twos.

Revered for its luscious chocolatey flavour Civet Coffee is totally safe, totally sterilised and totally delicious. Plus there's no discernable aftertaste.

The above is a quote from here. There is no "discernable aftertaste"!!!!!

Added on 8 June:
Here is a picture of the beans:

Thanks to AK for pointing me to this awesome blog that has the picture.

I shall now retire with a warm fuzzy feeling of contentment :D


Blogger maheshbalaji said...

oh.......aaaaaaaargh!!! yukks!

.. i agree... awesome blog klayan has!

4:36 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home